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Family mediation is a process in which an
impartial mediator helps divorcing or separating couples to make
decisions about their children, finances and property.
It is the preferred method of dispute
resolution by the Government and Academics. In a great
deal of cases a meeting is compulsory to see if if it would be
suitable for you.
Mediation and you
Mediation helps those involved in family
breakdown to communicate better with one another and reach their
own decisions about all or some of the issues arising from
separation or divorce - children, property and finance.
Mediation is about directly negotiating your
own decisions with the help of a third party. It is an
alternative to solicitors negotiating for you or having
decisions made for you by the courts. Entering mediation is
always voluntary.
How does it work?
A trained mediator will meet with you both for
a series of sessions in which you will be helped to
 | Identify all the matters you wish to
consider
 | Collect the necessary information
 | Talk about the choices open to you
 | Negotiate with each other to reach
decisions that are acceptable to you both
 | Discuss how you can consult your children
appropriately about arrangements |
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What does the Mediator do?
The mediators job is to act as an impartial
third party and manage the process, helping you to exchange
information, ideas and feelings constructively and ensuring that
you make informed decisions. The mediator has no power to
impose a settlement - responsibility for all decisions remains
with yourselves since you know better than anyone else what is
right for your family. The mediator will not advise you about
the best option either for your children or your financial
affairs, nor can the mediator protect your individual interest.
Will I still need a solicitor?
YES. You will need a
solicitor to advise you on the personal consequences for you of
your proposals. You will be encouraged to engage a solicitor
whom you can consult during the mediation process. At the end of
mediation your solicitor will be able to advise you about your
proposals and translate them into a legally binding form.
Will we have anything in writing?
At the end of mediation you will usually have
achieved a written summary of the proposals you have reached.
This is not a legally binding document and you will need legal
advice about it especially if you have reached agreement on
financial and property issues.
How much will it cost?
Each Service has their own scale of charges.
They will also be able to advise you if you are eligible for
legally aided mediation, which is free.
Is mediation suitable for everybody?
Sometimes mediation is not the best way for
you to resolve your problems. You will have a chance to discuss
this in more detail at your first individual meeting with the
mediator.
Is mediation confidential?
Firstly mediation is confidential and
courts are also likely to regard the discussions as privileged
Confidentiality - The Service
will not voluntarily disclose to outsiders any information
obtained in the course of your discussions without first
obtaining your permission (unless it appears there is a risk of
significant harm to adult or child)
Privilege -
What you say during mediation cannot be used later in court as
evidence. But facts disclosed during mediation are regarded as
open information and although strictly confidential may be used
subsequently in court.
Will the mediator talk to the children?
In mediation you are regarded as the experts
on your children and will have valuable knowledge and
information about their needs, wishes and views. However there
may be times when you both would like the mediator to
consult directly with the children about your plans. In those
circumstances children would be asked for their specific
comments and views on your joint proposals, without having to
take sides in any difference of opinion between their parents.
Such a meeting needs careful planning and is
confidential in so far as the mediator and children agree what
the mediator will say to the parents after the meeting.
What are the benefits of mediation?
Research conducted by The Joseph Rowntree
Foundation with Newcastle University identified that three years
later couples felt that mediation had helped them to
 | End the marital relationship amicably
 | Reduce conflict
 | Maintain good relationships with their ex
spouses
 | Carry less bitterness and resentment into
their post-divorce lives.
 | Be more content with existing child care
arrangements and less likely to have disagreement about
child contact.
 | Be able to reach agreement that had
survived the test of time.
 | Be glad they had used mediation. |
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Source: Family Mediation
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